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Isaac Comes to the Rescue
Media: Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2
Previous Chapter: Things Are Gettin' Serious All Up in This Bitch!
Next Chapter: Jesus of Suburbia
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Chapter 8: Isaac Comes to the Rescue is the eighth chapter of Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2.



Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2

Chapter Eight: Isaac Comes to the Rescue

Written by AFriendlyNecromorph

Isaac: "Come on, guys! We have to go down there and get her!"

Future Isaac: "No, it's too dangerous!"

Isaac: "We can't just leave her behind!"

Future Isaac: "We aren't going to leave her behind! We just need to do this the right way!"

Isaac: "I'm not gonna wait here and leave her out there all alone! Ellie's fighting for her life somewhere, and she needs our help!"

Future Ellie: "She's a fighter, Isaac. Ellie will be fine."

(Future Ellie puts her hand on Isaac's shoulder.)

Isaac: "Okay, but how are we supposed to do this the right way? You're the one with all the answers, after-all."

(Future Isaac smiles at Isaac.)

Future Isaac: "I was hoping you'd ask me that, but I don't have any ideas."

(Future Isaac shrugs and shakes his head.)

Future Isaac: "Do you have any ideas?"

Isaac: "Just one."

Future Isaac: "Yeah?"

Isaac: "Yeah."

(Immediately after saying this, Isaac bolts to the vent, hops up and stands on the bottom base of the vent while holding onto the top of its outer-grate with his hands. He looks back at his comrades with a big smile.)

Isaac: "Things are 'bout to get awesome!"

(Isaac hops up again and kicks his feet into the vent, letting go of his grip on the vent's outer-grate, and propels himself inside of it.)

Isaac: "Yeeahhhhh!"

(Future Isaac looks to Future Ellie.)

Future Isaac: "The first time I did this I was all brave and shit, but this is just gonna get nasty."

Future Ellie: "Okay, so this is what happened when I was gone?"

Future Isaac: "This isn't everything that happened. Just watch how things get more interesting..." ;D

Future Ellie: "Oh yeah? How so?" :)

Future Isaac: "Like this!"

(Future Isaac jumps and attaches himself to the vent in the same manner as Isaac, and turns around to face Ellie, sticking his crotch out jokingly.)

Future Isaac: "Check me out as I come to your rescue." ;)

Future Ellie: "Lol! You're such a dork, Isaac!"

Future Isaac: "I know!" ;P

(Future Isaac turns back toward the vent and propels himself inside, exactly the same way as Isaac did.)

Future Ellie: "My turn. Here we go again..."

(Future Ellie voluntarily enters the vent feet-first and slides down, joining her friends. The three of them rapidly slide down the Corruption-infested ventilation system, passing up Necromorphs along the way.)

Isaac: "Holy shit, guys! This is crazy!"

Future Isaac: "Yeah, tell me about it!"

Future Ellie: "This is disgusting!"

Isaac: "Hang on, you guys! I've got the perfect song for this!"

(Isaac plays a song from his RIG's music player, filling the tunnel with loud music and giving the scene an anthem.)
Green Day - St. Jimmy

Isaac: "Yeah!"

Future Isaac: "Sweet!"

Future Ellie: "Oh, these boys..." :/

(Isaac starts up a RIGLINK session with Future Isaac and Future Ellie to make sure they can hear him.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "How you guys doing back there?"
Future Isaac: "I've been better..."
Future Ellie: "Yeah... This is bloody disgusting! I don't see how things could possibly get any worse..."
(Looking further down the chute, Isaac spots a faint silhouette in the distance.)
Isaac: "I do!"
(Traveling with lightning-fast speed down the vent, Isaac sees a Slasher up ahead and sticks out his right foot, anticipating a direct hit on the crawling Slasher as he quickly approaches it.)

Mr. Slasher: "I told you I'd be back!"

Isaac: "Look out!"

(Isaac's foot collides with Mr. Slasher, causing it to explode into a liquefied mass of blood and tissue, and drenching Isaac in its remains.)

Isaac: "Boo-yeah!"

(Sliding down after Isaac, Future Isaac and Future Ellie slide through the splash-zone of Slasher remnants and become drenched in blood.)

Future Isaac: "Dude! Nasty!"

Future Ellie: "Ugh! Isaac, you asshole!"

Isaac: "What?! I can't hear you!"

(Unable to hear Future Ellie over the music and his screaming, Future Ellie communicates with Isaac via RIGLINK.)
Future Ellie (Audio Log): "Isaac, what are you doing?!"
Isaac: "Just a little spring-cleaning!"
Ellie: "Bloody spring-cleaning?! Don't do it again! Please!"
Isaac: "This is too much fun!"
Future Isaac: "This was awesome the first time around, but I'm not so sure how I feel about this!"
Isaac: "Feel crazy!"
(Up ahead is a Leaper, rapidly approaching Isaac, traveling up the vent as if it were climbing a spiral staircase. Fearing he would miss a shot at it, Isaac blasts the Leaper with a shot of Stasis.)

Isaac: "Freeze, mother-fucker!"

(Having a clear shot at the Leaper, Isaac rapidly fires at it with his Plasma Cutter, completely dismembering the Necromorph.)

Isaac: "You will respect my authori-tah!"

(Isaac starts up another conversation with his friends.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "You guys might wanna look-out up ahead!"
Future Ellie: "Why?! What's up ahead?!"
Future Isaac: "You'll find out!"
(Future Isaac slides through the Leaper's blood-spatter, still under Stasis, shortly followed by Future Ellie.)
Future Isaac: "Okay, this is awesome!"
Future Ellie: "How is this awesome?! Isaac, this is a bloody mess! Literally!"
Isaac: "I know! Isn't this hot!"
Future Isaac: "Hell yeah!"
Isaac: "Dude, I have such a massive rager right now!"
Future Isaac: "Dude, me too!"
Future Ellie: "What?!"
(Isaac spots a Pregnant up ahead, and needless to say, the guy sticks his foot out again...)

Isaac: "One way street, bitch!"

(Isaac collides with the Pregnant, tearing through the creature's abdominal sac, and releases its spawn inside the ventilation system.)

Isaac: "You should have taken the highway option!"

(Sliding down the tunnel after Isaac, Future Isaac is shocked to see a Lurker flying at him at high-speed, which causes him to squeal like a little girl.)

Future Isaac: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

(The Lurker pounces upon Future Isaac's face and attaches itself to his head, temporarily blinding him.)

Future Isaac: "Get it off! GET IT OFF!!!"

(Future Isaac finally pulls the Lurker off of his face, punches it in its face, and then tosses it back over his shoulder. Unfortunately, he sets it on a collision course with Future Ellie.)
Future Isaac (Audio Log): "Isaac, you douche!"
Isaac: "Lol! You screamed like a BITCH!"
Future Ellie: "Wait... What? What is that?"
(The Lurker flies down the chute and screams at Future Ellie as it grapples onto her face.)
Future Ellie: "AHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?! Get this bloody baby off of my face!"
Isaac: "Did I hear a dead baby?! I guess I unleashed it when I killed that Fattie!"
Future Isaac: "Yeah, and then I caught it and threw it back at...Ellie!"
(Future Ellie angrily grabs the Lurker off of her face, and swinging by its tentacles, she repeatedly bashes it against walls in the ventilation shaft.)
Future Ellie: "Die, you demonic bastard-child!"
Isaac and Future Isaac: "Damn! That was hot!"
Future Ellie: "Isaac, you ass!"
Isaac and Future Isaac: "Oops! Sorry!"
Future Ellie: "Just stop it, Isaac!"
Isaac and Future Isaac: "I'll take that into consideration!"
(Up ahead of Isaac is a Spitter and he braces for impact a fourth time.)

Isaac: "Bitch! Open your mouth for Daddy!"

(The Spitter obeys Isaac's command, and Isaac's outstretched leg forces itself down the Spitter's throat, taking Isaac on a short journey through the Necromorph's body. Isaac shouts with excitement as he hollows out the Spitter's body with his own body, and then literally shoots out of its ass.)

Isaac: "WHOO, BABY! Now that's what I call a cavity search!"

(Future Isaac and Future Ellie follow Isaac through the Spitter's hollowed out body.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "Sorry about that one, Future Ellie! I had to do it!"
Future Ellie: "Are you fucking kidding me, Isaac?! That was... That was bloody awesome!"
Isaac: "Sweet!"
Future Isaac: "Yeah! I knew she'd come around!"
(Isaac smiles with excitement as he sees a bright light further down the chute.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "We've got Explodies up ahead!"
Future Isaac: "No! Not the Explodies!"
Future Ellie: "Why?! What's wrong with the Explodies?!"
Isaac: "Oh God... Oh God!"
Future Isaac: "You might wanna keep your mouth closed, Ellie!"
Future Ellie: "Why?!"
(Rapidly sliding toward the large group of Crawlers and Exploders, Isaac finds he is unable to contain his over-excitement.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "Shit! Oh God!"
Future Isaac: "Hold it in, Isaac!"
Isaac: "I can't hold it in!"
Future Isaac: "Oh God! Neither can I!"
Future Ellie: "Hold what in?!"
Isaac "Almost there...
Future Isaac: "Shoot already!"
Isaac: "Almost there!"
Future Isaac: "SHOOT!"
Isaac: "It's time to fucking explode!"
(Isaac shoots at the group of Explodies and detonates an Exploder, and initiates a violent, bloody chain reaction.)
Isaac and Future Isaac (Audio Log): "HOLY FUCK! Bloody Saint Jimmy!"
Future Ellie: "What?!"
Isaac and Future Isaac: "That felt good!"
(Still wondering what just happened, Future Ellie calls the Isaac duo.)
Future Ellie (Audio Log): "Did you just--?! Oh my God! You just had a bloody orgasm!"
Isaac and Future Isaac: "I know!"
(Realizing that their RIGs have just ejected their payloads of reproductive fluids, Isaac and Future Isaac warn Future Ellie of the mess to no avail.)
Isaac (Audio Log): "Oh God! She's gonna slip-n-slide right through it!"
Future Isaac: "Ellie! NO!"
Future Ellie: "OMG! Bloody semen!"
(Future Ellie slips and slides through the mess, and Isaac finally sees the exit just ahead of him. The trio slides out of the vent and down onto the floor, just as the song ends.)

Isaac: "Ow! My ass!"

Future Isaac: "Shit!"

Future Ellie: "Oh, you guys..."

(Hearing Future Ellie, both Isaacs get up and rush over to help her up.)

Isaac: "She isn't pissed is she?

Future Isaac: "Ellie?"

Future Ellie: "OMFG! That was fucking insane!"

Isaac and Future Isaac: "Sweet!"

Future Ellie: "Isaac, you just came to the rescue! Literally!"

Isaac and Future Isaac: "Double entendre! Sweet!"

(Just as the group feels safe, they hear a loud banging in the distance.)

Future Isaac: "Quiet! Did you hear that?"

Future Ellie: "What was that?"

Isaac: "It's trouble..."


  • As made clearly evident by Future Ellie and the Isaac duo, the title of this chapter is meant to serve as a double entendre, as well as to foreshadow the plot of the chapter.