Isaac Gets a Boner
Media: Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2
Previous Chapter: You're Not Gonna Want to Smell This...
Next Chapter: Time Travel's a Bitch
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Chapter 5: Isaac Gets a Boner is the fifth chapter of Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2.


WARNING: The following episode of Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2 is slightly more immature than usual and contains some mild kinda-sexual content - again, even more so than usual. It's not too bad, but it's raunchier than "Chapter Four: It Gets Raunchy." Read at your own risk.


Dead Space 2: Break-Fast 2

Chapter Five: Isaac Gets a Boner

Written by AFriendlyNecromorph

Future Isaac: "Hey there, Smexy!" ;)


Future Isaac: "Hey, Ellie! Come on out and say 'hi' to my friends!"

(Just as Future Isaac calls Ellie, the driver's door of the vehicle opens up and out steps a woman with long, high-heeled pink boots; outfitted with a shiny, brand-new, futuristic, magenta RIG.)

Isaac and Ellie: "Daaaammnn! Who's that?!"

Woman: "It's Future Ellie...Bitch."

(The camera zooms in on Future Ellie's face as she says, "Bitch.")

Isaac and Ellie: "Whoa! Now that's a woman!"

Ellie: "OMG! I LOVE the shoes! Where did you get them?!"

Future Ellie: "Thanks, we went shopping and found a little place in the Concourse."

Ellie: "I HAVE to have them!"

Future Ellie: "Don't worry, you will."

(Isaac and Future Isaac look to each other.)

Isaac and Future Isaac: "Women..."

Future Isaac: "Sorry aboot that, Isaac, but you know how I like to crash a party."

(Future Isaac smirks, winks and smacks Isaac on the ass.)

Future Isaac: "I've been waiting a while to do that!"

Isaac: "To do what?!"

(Slightly upset and holding his butt with his left hand while attempting to conceal his newly-formed boner with his right hand.)

Future Isaac: "To smack a bitch."

Isaac: "What?!"

Ellie: "Apparently, you're a bitch...with a boner."

(Ellie points at Isaac's boner.)

Ellie and Future Ellie: "Yeah!"

(Ellie and Future Ellie high-five each other.)

Future Isaac: "If you recall earlier, I said, 'All right, if there are ANYMORE interruptions, make yourselves known... NOW!!! Don’t make me smack a bitch!' "

Isaac: "But I didn't interrupt you!"

Future Isaac: "Dude, you totally interrupted me! Trust me, it'll all make sense later on."

(He winks at Isaac again.)

Isaac: "Are you kidding me?! I didn't want any more interruptions, and I get interrupted by my future-self who says I interrupted him?!"

Future Isaac: "Yes."

Isaac: "One-worded response. Nice."

Future Isaac: "Classic."

Isaac: "Sweet."

Future Isaac: "We."

Isaac: "Are."

Future Isaac: "Totally."

Isaac: "Kick."

Future Isaac: "Ass."

Isaac: "Awesome."

Future Isaac: "Together."

Isaac and Future Isaac: "This is our lives...on HO-LI-DAY! Jynx!"

Isaac to Ellie and Future Isaac to Future Ellie: "DUDE, I LOVE THIS GUY!"

(Ellie and Future Ellie look to each other.)

Ellie and Future Ellie: "Men..."

Isaac, Ellie, Future Isaac, and Future Ellie: "Let's eat cereal! Yeah!"

(Everyone jumps up into the air and high-fives each other just as Kristen makes a sudden reappearance.)


(Another female, wearing a bright-pink RIG, exits the shuttle and approaches Kristen.)

Future Kristen: "Yeah, just wait 'til Chapter 6..."

Kristen: O_O


  • As the title, character movements and dialogue suggest, Isaac gets a boner in this chapter.